This blog speaks on the ability to cope, to deal with adversity and to do it competently and efficiently. In one word it is referred to as resilience. Resilience involves being calm, staying resolute when faced with stressful situations.

Resilience is also an ability to bounce back from extremely negative situations without carrying forward baggage from that situation. In Positive Psychology resilience is recognised as a powerful characteristic, that is back up by self confidence, self assuredness. Resilient people can handle stressful situations, being able to compartmentalise easily and keeping their cool and not succumbing to drama or hysteria

For many people, dealing with change or having to be flexible and emotionally agile presents challenges, that resilience takes in its stride. Resilient people tend to have a more positive outlook on life. They will be less judgemental, less critical and tend towards being solution focused. Resilient people will also be quite emotionally intelligent. We are not necessarily born resilient. A number of factors contribute: age, gender and the extent of trauma and life experience dictates levels of resilience

Generally speaking a person will have traits or characteristics which contribute to their resilience

  1. Someone who is is resilient will possess an awareness of their emotions. They will be finely tuned to their feelings and have an understanding of from where and why those feelings are arising. They will also have a degree of empathy with the feelings arising in others because they are so well in tune with their own emotions. Because of this ability they can regulate, and cope with the more negative emotions of fear and anger.
  2. Resilient people will have an ethic of perseverance. Giving up is not part of their vocabulary and its something they wouldn’t understand, or perhaps they could understand it in others, but not in themselves. They trust in their own ability to face up to challenging situations. They won’t see obstacles but work on solutions.
  3. Resilient people take responsibility for everything in their lives. They will own the situation they are in or going into. As a result they are less phased by things that suddenly arise and don’t succumb to stress as easily, dealing with real situations as and when they arise with a sense of control
  4. Resilient people will lean towards optimism in most situations. They will take on a very positive outlook. A resilient person will never exhibit victimhood. They handle problems because they believe in their own ability.
  5. Although resilient people tend to be quite self sufficient they recognise the need for a supportive social network around them and will tend to build on that through their friends, and family.
  6. Resilience carries with it a very easy going mentality. Resilient people won’t take themselves too seriously and will exhibit a good sense of humor. Because of this they won’t sense threat, but instead have a perspective of challenges to be met and that means their senses remain calmer in the face of otherwise stressful circumstances. The ability to laugh is also a favourable quality
  7. Resilient people, learn and grow from the challenges and trauma of their lives. This means they form very healthy and positive perspectives.
  8. Some scholars link resilience to spirituality. The ability to have faith or hope of connection to some other external and higher force somewhere seems to promote resilience alongside.

As mentioned before resilience is a characteristic of birth, it is learned and developed and possessing it makes for a very happy, content, stress free existence and its good to know that resilience can be cultivated.

Cultivate social relationships and community relationships. Reach out and become part of your locality.

Get into the habit of reflecting and managing your emotions and thoughts and feelings. Aim for a hopeful and therefore optimistic outlook towards life and your aspirations and dreams. Self care is an important aspect of resilience. Putting the needs of your mind, body and soul front and centre means that your mental and physical resources will be at optimal levels and will support you in facing challenges.

If after reading this you recognize that you aren’t resilient, but you would like to work at becoming resilient, because of the positive changes it might bring to your life and you would like help or guidance to get you going in the right direction please get in touch with Shehnaz at enquiries@thefeelgoodcentre.co.uk and in the meantime join our community: The Happiness Hub or follow us on Facebook